Hello, hello, hello, my beautiful friends! I hope you’re all doing so, so well today. I’m thrilled to be here with you to talk about a concept that might sound a little unfamiliar but will definitely resonate functional freeze. This episode is for anyone who’s felt stuck, overwhelmed, or paralyzed by the emotional rollercoaster of IVF and infertility. Today, we’ll explore:

• What functional freeze is.

• How it shows up in the context of infertility and IVF.

• Why we experience it.

• And most importantly, how you can regulate your nervous system to move out of this state.

By the end, I hope you’ll have a new language to understand your body and emotions and some actionable tools to help you move forward. So, let’s dive in!

What Is Functional Freeze?

Let’s dive a little deeper into functional freeze. Imagine your stress response system like a seesaw. On one side, you’ve got “fight or flight”—your body’s natural way of gearing up to face or escape a threat. On the other side, there’s “freeze,” where your body shuts down in response to feeling overwhelmed or unable to act.

Functional freeze sits somewhere in the middle. It’s not as dramatic as total immobilization but still very real and impactful. You’re physically present and going through the motions, but emotionally and mentally, you feel stuck. It’s like your internal “pause” button has been pressed, and you’re moving through life on autopilot. You might find yourself saying, “I’m just so overwhelmed I can’t even think straight,” or “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to, but it feels like nothing really matters.”

Functional freeze is different from simply being tired or distracted. It’s a state where your body and brain are overwhelmed, leaving you feeling disconnected from your emotions, your surroundings, and sometimes yourself. It can feel like being in a fog or watching your life happen from a distance.

How Does Functional Freeze Show Up During IVF?

Functional freeze can show up in subtle but powerful ways during infertility and IVF. Here are some examples:

1. Decision Paralysis:

You know those moments when you’re staring at your clinic’s recommended next steps—whether it’s another retrieval, a transfer, or switching protocols—and you just can’t make a choice? Functional freeze can make every decision feel impossible, as if no matter what you pick, it won’t be the “right” one.

2. Emotional Numbness:

Have you ever attended an appointment or given yourself a shot and felt like you were just going through the motions? Maybe you’re no longer feeling the highs of hope or the lows of fear—you’re just existing in a flat emotional state. That’s functional freeze. Your brain is trying to protect you from the emotional overwhelm of constant uncertainty and potential disappointment.

3. Avoidance:

This might look like procrastinating on tasks like scheduling appointments, researching clinics, or even opening your clinic’s portal to check results. You might find yourself thinking, “I’ll deal with it tomorrow,” but tomorrow comes, and the avoidance cycle repeats.

4. Over-functioning:

On the flip side, functional freeze can show up as hyper-busyness. Maybe you’re channeling all your energy into organizing medications, meticulously tracking your cycle, or researching endlessly. While this can seem productive, it’s often a way to avoid sitting with the emotional weight of what’s happening.

5. Loss of Joy:

Things you used to enjoy—spending time with friends, hobbies, or even dreaming about your future family—might feel out of reach. Functional freeze can drain your ability to connect with what brings you joy because your nervous system is in overdrive, trying to shield you from pain.

Segment 3: Why Do We Experience Functional Freeze?

So, why does functional freeze happen, especially during infertility and IVF? The answer lies in how our nervous system is designed to handle stress.

1. Chronic Stress Response:

Our bodies are incredible at responding to short-term stress—think about how your heart races when you slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. But IVF isn’t a short-term stressor. It’s prolonged, with cycles of hope, uncertainty, and disappointment that your body perceives as an ongoing threat. Over time, your nervous system says, “Enough!” and shifts into functional freeze as a way to conserve energy and protect you.

2. Grief and Loss:

Infertility and IVF often bring layers of grief—grief over unmet expectations, failed cycles, or a vision of family that feels increasingly out of reach. This compounded grief can overwhelm your emotional capacity, leading your body to shut down to avoid processing it all at once.

3. Lack of Control:

IVF is filled with variables you can’t control—how your body responds to meds, whether embryos will form, or if a transfer will work. This lack of control can trigger feelings of helplessness, a key driver of functional freeze.

4. Emotional Overload:

Infertility and IVF come with a relentless emotional load: hope, disappointment, anxiety, guilt, and sometimes shame. When these emotions pile up without relief, your brain decides it’s safer to hit the pause button than to keep processing.

Segment 4: How to Regulate Your Nervous System

The good news? Functional freeze isn’t permanent. With the right tools and practices, you can help your nervous system move back into a state of balance. Here’s how:

1. The "Shake It Out" Exercise

Functional freeze keeps energy trapped in your body, making movement one of the best ways to shake yourself out of that stuck state. This exercise mimics the way animals shake off stress after a freeze response.

How to Do It:

1. Start with Your Hands: Extend your arms and shake your hands vigorously for about 10-15 seconds.

2. Move to Your Arms: Let the shaking travel up your arms and shoulders, loosening tension as you go.

3. Shake Your Legs: Stand up and gently bounce your knees while shaking out your legs and feet.

4. Engage Your Whole Body: Let yourself move freely, shaking out your arms, legs, torso—like you’re shaking off water.

5. Deep Breath and Release: Take a deep breath in, hold for a moment, then exhale with a sigh or sound.

6. Pause and Notice: Stand still for a few moments. Feel the tingling or warmth in your body—this is energy moving!

Why It Works:

Shaking helps discharge excess stress hormones and "unlocks" stuck energy in your nervous system. It signals to your body that it’s safe to move again and re-engages your connection with your physical self.

2. "Press and Release" Grounding Exercise

When you're in functional freeze, your body might feel heavy or numb. Applying deep, intentional pressure can help bring awareness back to your physical self and provide a sense of stability.

How to Do It:

1. Find a Wall or Solid Surface: Stand or sit next to a sturdy surface like a wall, desk, or floor.

2. Press Your Hands Against the Surface: Push firmly as if you’re trying to move the wall or surface slightly. Feel the resistance.

3. Hold for 10-15 Seconds: Engage your muscles, noticing where you feel tension in your arms, shoulders, or back.

4. Slowly Release the Pressure: Let go gently and allow your arms to drop.

5. Repeat with Your Feet: If standing, press your feet firmly into the floor. Push downward as if rooting yourself into the ground.

6. Exhale and Notice: Take a deep breath and observe any changes in sensation.

Why It Works:

Pressing against a solid surface activates proprioception, your body’s sense of where it is in space. This provides deep grounding, helping your nervous system feel more secure and regulated. It also mimics the comforting effects of deep-pressure therapy.

That is what I have for you today, my friends. Have a great week and I will talk to you soon!