Welcome to IVF This, episode 188- IVF & Lucky Girl Syndrome

Hello, hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to IVF This. I’m your host, Emily Ginn, and today we’re going to talk about something you’ve probably heard floating around TikTok and social media—Lucky Girl Syndrome. This one is fascinating because it ties right into a concept we’ve already talked about on the podcast—the Reticular Activating System, or RAS—and it also connects with another idea that’s been around for centuries: manifestation.

So today, we’re going to break down where Lucky Girl Syndrome came from, what the RAS actually is from a neuroscience perspective, how manifestation fits into all of this, and finally, how we can use these tools in a grounded way during infertility and IVF without bypassing our very real pain.

Let’s start at the beginning. Lucky Girl Syndrome first blew up on TikTok in late 2022, early 2023. It’s essentially the belief that if you repeat phrases like “everything always works out for me” or “I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” then your life will rearrange itself to prove you right. People started posting story after story of things “miraculously” working out once they adopted this mindset—getting jobs, finding apartments, meeting partners.

Now, on its surface, it’s basically manifestation with a Gen Z rebrand. Manifestation is the idea that by focusing your thoughts, energy, or attention in a certain direction, you call those things into your life. And Lucky Girl Syndrome is like manifestation-lite: it’s catchy, it’s viral, and it speaks to the same human longing—that maybe, just maybe, we have more control over our outcomes than it feels like.

But here’s the cool part: while a lot of people dismiss it as “woo-woo,” there is actually neuroscience that explains why it works. And that’s where the Reticular Activating System comes in.

The Reticular Activating System, or RAS, is a network of neurons located in the brainstem. Think of it as a filter between your subconscious mind and your conscious awareness. At any given moment, your brain is bombarded with millions of bits of sensory information—what you’re hearing, what you’re seeing, the pressure of your body on the chair, the temperature of the air, background noises. If you had to process all of that consciously, you’d be completely overwhelmed.

So the RAS acts like a gatekeeper. Its job is to decide what information makes it through to your conscious mind and what gets filtered out. It’s heavily involved in attention, arousal, and motivation. It’s why you can tune out the hum of the refrigerator but immediately perk up when you hear your name across a crowded room. It’s also why once you start thinking about buying a red car, you suddenly see red cars everywhere.

Here’s the kicker: the RAS doesn’t just filter randomly. It filters based on what you already believe, value, or focus on. If you believe “everyone around me is pregnant except me,” your RAS will prioritize showing you pregnant people everywhere. If you believe “I’m the unluckiest person alive,” your RAS will serve up evidence that reinforces that. But if you tell your brain, “good things are happening for me,” the RAS will shift to look for proof of that, too.

This is why Lucky Girl Syndrome and manifestation feel like magic. But in reality, it’s neuroscience.

Manifestation gets a bad rap sometimes because it can sound like magical thinking—like if you just make a vision board, the universe will drop a baby on your doorstep. And of course, that’s not how it works.

But if you strip away the fluff, manifestation is really about training your attention. You decide what you want, you visualize it, and you keep it at the forefront of your mind. The RAS then goes to work filtering your world through that lens. You notice opportunities you might have ignored before. You feel more motivated to act. You experience your environment differently because your brain is scanning for alignment with your belief.

So when TikTok influencers say “everything always works out for me,” what they’re really doing is giving their RAS a command: filter for evidence that life is unfolding in my favor.

That doesn’t mean hard things stop happening. It means your brain is more likely to catch the moments of alignment, the little wins, the signs of hope, rather than only catching the losses.

Now, let’s get real. If you’ve been through failed cycles, miscarriages, or years of trying, being told to “just manifest it” can feel invalidating, even cruel. And I want to name that. You cannot mantra or manifest your way out of infertility. And Lucky Girl Syndrome is not a replacement for medical treatment or for honoring your grief.

But here’s where it can help: we can use the principles behind it—the RAS, the power of focused attention—to make this experience a little more survivable. We can choose thoughts that are believable and kind, rather than ones that reinforce despair.

Instead of “everything always works out for me,” which may feel hollow or false, you could try:

• “I can handle what comes next.”

• “I am open to small moments of peace.”

• “There are possibilities I can’t yet see.”

These thoughts still give your RAS instructions, but they don’t demand blind positivity. They allow you to hold both grief and hope at the same time.

So how do we actually do this? Let’s make it practical:

1. Decide what you want to believe. Write down a thought that feels believable and repeatable. Put it on sticky notes, your phone lock screen, or even your medication box.

2. Curate your mental diet. If your TikTok or Facebook groups leave you spiraling, notice that. The more you consume fear and comparison, the more your RAS will highlight it. Curate your feeds and conversations to align with the feelings you want to cultivate.

3. Daily gratitude. Gratitude is manifestation’s grounded cousin. It tells your RAS: “look for what’s working, what’s safe, what’s beautiful.” Even if it’s small—your cup of coffee, a moment of laughter, a good song on the radio.

4. Visualization with compassion. Visualization is a classic manifestation tool, but here’s how we make it IVF-friendly: instead of only picturing a positive pregnancy test, picture yourself being calm before your next appointment. Picture yourself handling your injections with steadiness. Picture yourself allowing your emotions without judgment. That way, no matter the outcome, your visualization supports you.

So, my beautiful friends, Lucky Girl Syndrome may be trending on TikTok, but the truth is it’s just a new name for something humans have always done: giving our brains instructions about where to look. Whether you call it manifestation, mindset, or RAS reprogramming, the principle is the same—what you focus on expands.

You don’t have to believe that everything always works out for you in order to use this. You don’t have to bypass your grief or shame yourself for struggling. You simply get to decide: what do I want my brain to highlight for me today?

And maybe that’s courage. Maybe it’s compassion. Maybe it’s the possibility of still being surprised by life.

That, to me, is the grounded, IVF-friendly version of Lucky Girl Syndrome. And I think that’s worth practicing.

Thank you for spending this time with me today. I see you, I love you, and I’ll talk to you next week.